Self-service check-out

Today, when I purchased some items, the self-service till at the supermarket near my place of employ decided to dick me around. Oh sure it did an impression of just doing what it's supposed to but on this occasion it was doing what it was supposed to do to dick me around.

Paranoid you say? Oh no, not me, and I think you'll agree in just a couple of moments.

At least on this issue.

Today, what I was purchasing at lunch-time came to the sum of £9.73 which is an amount that does nothing to let me carry as little small change as possible. However, I already had some small change and so, in a flash of numeric inspiration, I chose to use the three pennies I had in my pocket and then pay for the rest with a twenty pound note. I was really rather proud of myself at this point.

The machine took my proffered pennies. The machine took my proffered twenty pound note. The machine told me it would be depositing £10.30 in change to me. Oh yeah, fuck those copper coins, silver all the way!

The machine gave me a ten pound note. The machine gave me a twenty pence piece. The machine then paused for a fraction of a second and then spat out five two-pence pieces. Motherfucker. More small pieces of change than I had at the start and more volume than I would have had if I'd just given the machine my note.

I was unimpressed with the lack of a ten-pence piece.

And then... and then... and then... and then the bloody machine used its standard script and measured tone to say "thank you for using Sainsburys self service". I mean, sure, it was in exactly the same way that they always say this. But it was the way that it was exactly the same way that they always say this that told me to fuck right off.

It might as well have had a recording of the woman's voice saying "hahaha, thank you for using Sainsbury's self service, bitch" and it would have had less impact.

Fuck you Sainsbury's self-service. You think that I'm going to carry around that change around forever? You think someone else is going to get that off me? Oh no, not likely, you're getting those back. That's right, I'm locked in a battle of wills with an inanimate object. Handily, I think I'm more stubborn, so I intend to win. That till's gonna take that money and then victory is mine!

A sense of perswhatnow? Not seen one, no, why do you ask?