Kitchen kitchen kitchen

Google has stopped showing me an advert connected to bed-wetting in my gmail. Thank you Google. Google has, however, shown me something that has really thrown me and my currently delicate sensibilities.

Yes, even more than Google suggesting that I need to check up on resources to do with bed-wetting. The reason for this is the advert for a website: http://www.kitchen-kitchen-kitchen.co.uk/

I find this troubling for a number of reasons:

1. It's as if this website isn't content with just telling me that they're to do with kitchens. It's like this website is following me around repeating the same stuff again and again to drill it in to my head. I feel like the website is going "hey you, yeah you, kitchen! Kitchen! Hey! Kitchen kitchen kitchen! Kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen! Hey you! Kitchen! Kitchen kitchen! Kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen kitchen! Hey! Kitchen! Kitchen." I am very much thinking that I get that they're about kitchens so please to be shutting up about the kitchens already.

2. This seems to be the internet equivalent of business directories, y'know, for calling people with 'phones an' stuff, with businesses calling themselves something like Aardvark Taxis so that they're at the top of the listing only instead of thinking that people won't make a decision based on how close to the start of the alphabet the business is but how many times they can use the word that's their main selling point. Which leads me to...

3. That this oneupmanship is based on earlier, less kitchen-y, websites.

So I went to look.

The first site I found, upon attempting to get to the first 'kitchen', was http://www.kitchens.co.uk/NewsListProductCats.asp so my initial theory was sound. It was sound but then I realised that if there are three kitchens, and there is one kitchen (or one kitchens but that really doesn't scan well), that there must be two kitchens.

And so it is: http://www.kitchenkitchen.co.uk/

Kitchen website oneupmanship.

I was tempted to register a website called: www.kitchen-kitchen-kitchen-kitchen.co.uk and just have the front page saying something about all those other kitchen guys being dicks. Then I realised that this would only be any use until someone went with www.kitchen-kitchen-kitchen-kitchen-kitchen.co.uk or www.kitchentothepowerofinfinity.co.uk or www.fuckyouwegotallthemotherfuckingkitchens.co.uk and it would come to naught. Then I realised that this wouldn't be the reason it would have come to naught. That would be because it would be really pointless.

Much like this I suppose.

How many people are buying kitchens anyway?